Hello, again. It’s me again. Over the past few days, I have had a few interesting experiences. However, there was one in particular that when it happened, I knew that it would be my next blog topic. I find it rather ironic that months ago, I established a specific schedule and outline for all of the topics that I wanted to cover for the remainder of the year. But, as time has progressed, I don’t think that I have even covered half of them. And much like many of my previous posts, I must say that today’s topic was not on that original list. Nevertheless, I am sure that it will touch someone out there. Enjoy.
The other day, as I quietly strolled through the aisles of the local shoe store, I unexpectedly exchanged glances with a woman who stood exactly three rows from me. Initially, I didn’t take much notice of her as she resembled many of the other shoppers that were in the store that evening. While possessing a unique attractiveness, the effects of, what seemed to be a long day at work, appeared to drain all amounts of loving energy that she may have previously had. I am sure that in a more social setting, her shapely figure would have been the fancy of several onlookers. However, the experiences of her day had taken their toll on her now exhausted body. Her dark, smooth skin owned an exotic beauty that others would kill for. But, on that evening, the pressures of life seemed only to accentuate the depths of her pain which could be witnessed within each facial expression and wrinkle. In any situation, I am sure that this woman’s beauty could be recognized by the most blinded eyes. However, on that day the tares of her life seemed to have such a grasp on her being that such beauty was overshadowed by her obvious pain. And as our eyes connected for a second extended glance, such pain was confirmed as our visual connection began to reveal much more than what I would have initially wanted. It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. And on that day, through her eyes, I bore witness to several strongholds that have had many of us bound for years.
Still walking through the aisles of the shoe store and making my way to the cash register, our eyes met several more times. For approximately ten minutes, the two of us played a visual cat and mouse game around the shoe store, exchanging glances, but avoiding direct contact. It was almost as if she wanted to say something to me but was afraid to. Nevertheless, we continued our respectful game of avoidance for another two minutes, until we both met at the cash register.
“You have the cutest little eyes,” she said in an endearing tone.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“You are a very handsome man. You should be a model,” she commented.
Fearing that she was one of those so-called talent scouts for those shopping mall modeling agencies, I quickly tried to divert her attention to something else. “No thank you,” I said. “Been there; done that,” I said as I began to walk off.
“Excuse me,” she said, stopping me from my departure. “You are an attractive man. Can I ask you a question?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said obligingly.
“Do you think I am ugly?” she asked intently. At that point, the pain that I saw earlier began to be released as she expressed her feelings of being rejected by society because of her looks.
“No. I don’t think you’re ugly,” I exclaimed. “I actually think you’re beautiful.”
“Are you just saying that?” she asked.
“No. Ma’am,” I politely called her since I was unaware of her name. “I have seen and been around many people that society often fantasizes about and one thing that I have noticed is that many of them are not nearly as beautiful as others think they are. On the inside, many of those people are lacking so much,” I continued. “If you truly want to be considered beautiful, start on the inside. True beauty is achieved on the inside and then it’s radiated out,” I said. “Because of that, I noticed from across the store that you are an extremely beautiful person.”
“Thank you so much. You just made my day,” she said enthusiastically as she walked out of the store.
What this woman expressed is that she longed for affirmation, belongingness, and acceptance. What she desired was the fulfillment of a natural human need. But society has supplied her with the belief that the way to get her need met was to succumb to the beautification standards and requirements of those individuals that are glorified in the tabloids and in the world. The more she tried to abide by those standards, the more she felt rejected and shut out. This rejection caused her to experience so much pain that it began to show. Many of us are in the middle of experiencing this same kind of rejection. To be accepted, we are told that we must look a certain way, weigh a certain amount, and have a specific shape.
In our attempts to get certain needs met, we try to meet those needs based on the standards given to us by society. However, when we fall short of meeting those needs, we experience depression, pain, and sadness. I must confess. This past week, I experienced a form of rejection myself. And, initially, it began to take its toll on me. However, I thank God for reminding me of the source of my confirmation and validation. While society suggests that I must look a certain way or obtain certain possessions to gain acceptance and to follow them, God tells me that if I follow Him, others will be drawn to Him through me. “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matt. 4:19, NKJV) When society pushes us into relationships with other men and women to meet certain needs, God encourages us to depend on Him for those needs. And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:19, NKJV) When society refuses to accept me, God confirms and validates me.
For those of you that struggle to fulfill your need for acceptance and belongingness, I encourage you to look to God’s word. It is often said that the only thing that is constant is change. While, this is the case within our society, it’s completely false within God’s Kingdom. Our customs may change, our desires often change, and even our standards and expectations may change. However, God’s word does not. Therefore, in it we will begin to meet our need of acceptance. Therefore, as you begin to seek acceptance through Him, I pray that you continue to see you as God sees you. Let me know your thoughts.
CLK