Comments on: HELP ME!!! My Mate is Historical… (Forgiveness Part I) http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/ An open forum to discuss everyday issues inhibiting our success! Sun, 04 Dec 2011 20:38:03 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Administrator http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-96 Administrator Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:58:04 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-96 Hello Rachel, You're right about one thing. It does take time to get over the hurt. However, what we often fail to realize is that when it comes to forgiveness, it's not our job to determine why the person is apologizing. Whether they are sorry for the act or for getting caught in the act, it really doesn't matter. What I didn't mention in the blog is that the forgiveness process is also coupled with a healing process. But ironically, you can't begin one without starting the other. Therefore Rachel, I encourage you to go through your processes before engaging in more serious relationships. CLK.com Hello Rachel,

You’re right about one thing. It does take time to get over the hurt. However, what we often fail to realize is that when it comes to forgiveness, it’s not our job to determine why the person is apologizing. Whether they are sorry for the act or for getting caught in the act, it really doesn’t matter.

What I didn’t mention in the blog is that the forgiveness process is also coupled with a healing process. But ironically, you can’t begin one without starting the other. Therefore Rachel, I encourage you to go through your processes before engaging in more serious relationships.

CLK.com

]]> By: Rachell http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-95 Rachell Wed, 25 Jun 2008 02:33:54 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-95 Hey Mr. King, ******************I MISS YOU************************ I agree with you, however, I feel that it takes time for a HURT individual to come in contact with the forgiving side. I have been in a crazy situation for months, that I have spoken with you about several times. Now it has been a year and I can't say that I am okay with the ongoing relationship, but I have listen to alot of the advise that you gave me while attending Remington... Still, no change in the relationship, I am hurt, but I am willing to proceed and progress to bigger and better things! Since, I have been dating and with me still being vulnerable I catch myself releasing my past frustrations and insecurities on other men or either being to aggressive,I often have small talks with myself to " LET IT GO" just at the times I still haven't been able too. I feel that just because a man/woman apologizes for an error that they made in a relationship doesn't mean that it sorry for what they did they are just sorry they got caught.... Hey Mr. King,

******************I MISS YOU************************

I agree with you, however, I feel that it takes time for a HURT individual to come in contact with the forgiving side. I have been in a crazy situation for months, that I have spoken with you about several times. Now it has been a year and I can’t say that I am okay with the ongoing relationship, but I have listen to alot of the advise that you gave me while attending Remington… Still, no change in the relationship, I am hurt, but I am willing to proceed and progress to bigger and better things! Since, I have been dating and with me still being vulnerable I catch myself releasing my past frustrations and insecurities on other men or either being to aggressive,I often have small talks with myself to ” LET IT GO” just at the times I still haven’t been able too. I feel that just because a man/woman apologizes for an error that they made in a relationship doesn’t mean that it sorry for what they did they are just sorry they got caught….

]]> By: Marquita http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-84 Marquita Thu, 29 May 2008 19:48:06 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-84 Hey Mr. King. I am very impressed with this blog. You know the feeling you get when you go to church, and it feels like the Pastor is talking directly to you? Well, that's how I feel about this entry. Besides God, I have hard time putting my trust in a man. My mom use to always tell me, "YOUR PAST EXPLAINS YOU, BUT IT DOES NOT EXCUSE YOU." With that being said, I always allowed my past relationships to effect the way I feel about future relationships. I never let my guards down, and I never let anyone get close to me. Afraid that they would somehow hurt me. I lost my 2year old son in November of 2005, and got a divorce in 2006. It made me feel that everyone that I was close to would hurt me. I know I passed up a few good men, and probably past someone that could have a really good friend, and that's something that I don't want to continue doing. After reading this I know for sure that I'm not the only one that have that problem. I have to work on me first then apply that same method to whatever relationship that I may be in. Hey Mr. King. I am very impressed with this blog. You know the feeling you get when you go to church, and it feels like the Pastor is talking directly to you? Well, that’s how I feel about this entry. Besides God, I have hard time putting my trust in a man. My mom use to always tell me, “YOUR PAST EXPLAINS YOU, BUT IT DOES NOT EXCUSE YOU.” With that being said, I always allowed my past relationships to effect the way I feel about future relationships. I never let my guards down, and I never let anyone get close to me. Afraid that they would somehow hurt me. I lost my 2year old son in November of 2005, and got a divorce in 2006. It made me feel that everyone that I was close to would hurt me. I know I passed up a few good men, and probably past someone that could have a really good friend, and that’s something that I don’t want to continue doing. After reading this I know for sure that I’m not the only one that have that problem. I have to work on me first then apply that same method to whatever relationship that I may be in.

]]> By: CLK.com EMPOWERMENT Blog » Blog Archive » Will You Forgive Me? Sincerely, Me…(Forgiveness Part III) http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-64 CLK.com EMPOWERMENT Blog » Blog Archive » Will You Forgive Me? Sincerely, Me…(Forgiveness Part III) Thu, 15 May 2008 14:04:06 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-64 [...] Go to “…Forgiveness (Part I)” [...] [...] Go to “…Forgiveness (Part I)” [...]

]]> By: CLK.com EMPOWERMENT Blog » Blog Archive » Old Baggage, New Relationships… (Forgiveness Part II) http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-63 CLK.com EMPOWERMENT Blog » Blog Archive » Old Baggage, New Relationships… (Forgiveness Part II) Thu, 15 May 2008 12:22:47 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-63 [...] Go to “…Forgiveness (Part I)” [...] [...] Go to “…Forgiveness (Part I)” [...]

]]> By: kaishudo http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-55 kaishudo Tue, 13 May 2008 03:09:53 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-55 I honestly think that someone who says that has not forgiven. I say that from experience. Numerous people (close family members mostly) have done things that I feel are very egregious and therefore unforgivable. But if someone asks me why I still talk to that person my comment is often I have forgiven but I will not forget. As I sit here, trying to explain my thought process on this my mind is running full circle on these errors if you will. The idea comes to me that I have never told these people that I forgive them, so it would appear that that statement is a means of lying, manipulating, or holding on. Wonder how one goes about forgiving what they feel to be unforgivable. Oh and for those bloggers who would suggest that I get out of this relationship with the person(s) who wronged me in such a way that I cannot forgive… I ask you this: how do you divorce yourself from a blood relative, parent, or someone you truly love but were hurt by? Mind you, I am a forgiving person and have no problem telling someone off. My problem comes in that I tend to allow walls to be built by bricks made up of these hurts. It is affecting my compassion and tenderness. I honestly think that someone who says that has not forgiven. I say that from experience. Numerous people (close family members mostly) have done things that I feel are very egregious and therefore unforgivable. But if someone asks me why I still talk to that person my comment is often I have forgiven but I will not forget. As I sit here, trying to explain my thought process on this my mind is running full circle on these errors if you will. The idea comes to me that I have never told these people that I forgive them, so it would appear that that statement is a means of lying, manipulating, or holding on. Wonder how one goes about forgiving what they feel to be unforgivable. Oh and for those bloggers who would suggest that I get out of this relationship with the person(s) who wronged me in such a way that I cannot forgive… I ask you this: how do you divorce yourself from a blood relative, parent, or someone you truly love but were hurt by? Mind you, I am a forgiving person and have no problem telling someone off. My problem comes in that I tend to allow walls to be built by bricks made up of these hurts. It is affecting my compassion and tenderness.

]]> By: TKIF! http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-54 TKIF! Tue, 13 May 2008 00:12:25 +0000 http://christopherlking.com/blog/2008/05/12/help-me-my-mate-is-historical-forgiveness-part-i/#comment-54 Hey man once again, you nailed the 3 pointer at the buzzer. One reason that I think that people tend to hold on to mistakes made by others is also to have a manipulative tool to gain or maintain control of a situation or relationship. I would like to see you address this in a future blog. But again I thank GOD for you and this blog. Keep it up Hey man once again, you nailed the 3 pointer at the buzzer. One reason that I think that people tend to hold on to mistakes made by others is also to have a manipulative tool to gain or maintain control of a situation or relationship. I would like to see you address this in a future blog. But again I thank GOD for you and this blog. Keep it up

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