Hello everyone. I hope I hadn’t bored you guys to death yet. While I did not originally intend to write so much about relationships, I have found that there has been an unbelievable amount of requests for me to discuss such topics. Now, in no way, am I attempting to give any of you relationship advice. However, I sometimes feel the need to just share my thoughts to whoever will oblige me and listen. Everything that I write is taken from my personal experiences–past and present. Once again, I hope today’s blog sheds some light on a few things that have been of concern to some of you. Get comfortable because this one may get a little raw. I know that I am going out on a serious limb with this post. Nevertheless, I promise to uphold my vow of being open, honest, transparent, and real. Enjoy.
Over the last few weeks, I have been receiving a wealth of questions regarding relationships and dating. Where do I find a good man? How do I get a man? And those that aren’t heavily engaged in their own personal quest for that knight in shining armor, are trying to figure out how in the world did they “misjudge” the quality of the man that they currently have as they wonder why their current man no longer possesses the interest that he once had at the beginning of the relationship. Once again, here are my thoughts.
First things first. It’s extremely easy to get a man. However, what many women struggle with is how to keep him. Recently, after one of my speaking engagements, I was approached by, what many men would deem as, an attractive woman. On the Men’s Beauty Finger Scale, she could have easily ranked as a solid 8 and the confidence that she displayed as she approached me, could have quickly added an additional half point to that previous ranking.
“Mr. King,” she said.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Hi. My name is Crystal. Do you mind if I ask you a question?” she asked.
“Hi, Crystal. Sure.”
“Why do men leave for women that aren’t as good as the one that they had?” she inquired.
“Whoa,” I answered as my response clearly indicated my initial shock. “Do you have that problem?”
“Yes. My boyfriend has been messing with this woman for about 6 months and I know she isn’t better than me,” Crystal exclaimed.
“Well, how do you know?” I asked interestingly.
“Look at me. And trust me, I know how to please a man,” she remarked.
As I began slowly walking away, to indicate the future close of the conversation, I kindly replied by saying, “Well, sweetie. If you knew how to please a man, you wouldn’t be asking me this question, would you?”
Crystal, like many others, had no problem getting a man. However, she struggled like hell to keep him. She was beautiful, sexy, and confident. However, even with all of her beauty, she was unable to keep her man’s interest. Ladies, let me give you a hint. Like you, men have needs. Cater to his needs, and a good man, has no reason to stray. Now, what are those needs? Here are the top 5 needs of a man:
#5: Domestic Support – Many men that have been in serious relationships will, at some point, complain of the lack of support of their mate. This does not mean that you are supposed to agree with everything that he says. However, support his vision and his goals. You do this by developing a clear understanding of where his is trying to go. And then, you help him.
#4: Attractive Mate – Yes, we do like for you to look good. But that’s not the be all and end all. Look nice. Lotion your body. Smell good. Men are visual creatures. We are attracted to what we see. Give us something good to look at.
#3: Recreational Companionship – Allow us to enjoy the game with our fellas every now and then. We are not pushing you aside. You still are important to us.
#2: Admiration – Every man has an ego. Stroke it. Let me repeat. STROKE YOUR MAN’S EGO. Don’t publically belittle him. He’s your man. Tell him he’s great. Tell him how important he is to you. If all he does is take out the garbage, tell him that you love how strong he is and how you appreciate him taking out the garbage.
#1: Sexual Fulfillment – This does not just mean sex. This means a sexual experience. Enjoy him. Allow him to enjoy you. Please him. Establish prolonged moments of intimacy, making your primary goal the demonstration of his ultimate satisfaction.
Now, I have been approached by a multitude of women that simply stop at being attractive. Their entire focus is how good they look. Yes, that can help you get a man, but it will never allow you to keep him. I can show you a picture of the most beautiful woman in the world. And right next to her, I can show you a guy that’s unfulfilled and tired of dealing with her. Unfortunately, Crystal felt that being beautiful and having sex with her man should have been enough. However, she completely missed the other major needs of a man. She was sure that she knew how to please her man. And like many other women, she was confident that the goodies that she possessed between her legs were laced with gold dust. And with that, she was sure to please any man. And while the price of gold continues to fluctuate in a volatile economic market, I urge her, as well as other women to check your goodies because gold may not be what he is looking for; at least I’m not.
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P.S. Fellas don’t get happy. I will talk about us tomorrow. Also, before I get a flood of messages, keep in mind, I’m not a relationship counselor. I just speak my opinion. The intent of today’s post is to provide an understanding of the needs of a man. Any comments, intentionally bashing women or men will be deleted.
Thank you.